Fifty Shades of Grey: The Roundup
Sep. 19th, 2012 12:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
astra_auroraSo, what did I think of this book? Well... I'll be honest. It's shite. It's complete and utter shite. We'll break it down both musically (because God knows I love music) and verbally.
To start: This is an abomination, writing-wise. I've read part of the original fic, Master of the Universe, and apart from swapping the names, there was basically no editing done, which is evident in the amount of sheer grammar fail. There's no plot, unless you like 'will they or won't they?', and as I don't, this does nothing for me.
The characters: Ana is a complete idiot who has no idea what she's doing, Grey is a psychopathic rapist wreck who should not be allowed near women, Kate is a bitch, and everyone else barely gets a mention. Jose exists to be a plot device; Elliot's just a background love interest.
The sex: Badly-written, completely flat, unarousing rubbish. I've got more of a thrill from reading the phone book. Grey is surprisingly unimaginative, and I expected more.
The content: Gah. This book purports itself to be a love story, when in fact it's a modern version of The Sheik (look it up and be prepared to be horrified). I have no idea how James can stand to live with herself after writing this shit and claiming that it's a quality romance.
The research: Almost nonexistant. I could rant over the sandstone floors from the early chapters for days. Grey has no idea how to be an actual Dom and not a sadistic fucktard. Nothing makes sense, the background details don't fit. One gets the feeling that James didn't care about the setting other than as a background for Ana and Christian's magnificance.
The tone: It's weird. The book swings in and out of certain tones, like James is experimenting with being a good writer, a bad writer and a terrible writer. Sometimes she gets it really right, and mostly it's just crap- except for the times when it's downright horrible.
Would I recommend this to anyone? Only to show them what pain is. Otherwise, God no.
Do I call this a good book? Fuck, no.
Is this a good example of its genre? NO.
Now, on to the musical aspect.
I've found that songs tend to sum up the way I feel better than I can (I am a very, very brusque person IRL, which is why I have such trouble with essays), so I'll explain the problems in terms of songs (cue the linkspam!):
This is what James seems to think Ana and Grey's relationship is like (ignore the video, it's weird but irrelevant).
This is what James seems to think Ana is like.
This is what James seems to think Grey is like.
Yeah... no. Definitely no.
This is what I think their relationship is meant to look like.
This is what I think Ana is meant to be.
This is what I think Grey is meant to appear as.
That's more... plausible, I guess. But it's still wrong.
See, this is what their relationship looks like to me.
This is what Ana seems to be, IMO.
And this is the way Grey looks to me.
Fucked-up, yeah. But more accurate, methinks.
Anyway, Fifty Shades Darker will commence soon. I just need to think up a new title for the new spork.
Thanks for reading, everyone- hope you enjoyed it! Stay tuned for more!
To start: This is an abomination, writing-wise. I've read part of the original fic, Master of the Universe, and apart from swapping the names, there was basically no editing done, which is evident in the amount of sheer grammar fail. There's no plot, unless you like 'will they or won't they?', and as I don't, this does nothing for me.
The characters: Ana is a complete idiot who has no idea what she's doing, Grey is a psychopathic rapist wreck who should not be allowed near women, Kate is a bitch, and everyone else barely gets a mention. Jose exists to be a plot device; Elliot's just a background love interest.
The sex: Badly-written, completely flat, unarousing rubbish. I've got more of a thrill from reading the phone book. Grey is surprisingly unimaginative, and I expected more.
The content: Gah. This book purports itself to be a love story, when in fact it's a modern version of The Sheik (look it up and be prepared to be horrified). I have no idea how James can stand to live with herself after writing this shit and claiming that it's a quality romance.
The research: Almost nonexistant. I could rant over the sandstone floors from the early chapters for days. Grey has no idea how to be an actual Dom and not a sadistic fucktard. Nothing makes sense, the background details don't fit. One gets the feeling that James didn't care about the setting other than as a background for Ana and Christian's magnificance.
The tone: It's weird. The book swings in and out of certain tones, like James is experimenting with being a good writer, a bad writer and a terrible writer. Sometimes she gets it really right, and mostly it's just crap- except for the times when it's downright horrible.
Would I recommend this to anyone? Only to show them what pain is. Otherwise, God no.
Do I call this a good book? Fuck, no.
Is this a good example of its genre? NO.
Now, on to the musical aspect.
I've found that songs tend to sum up the way I feel better than I can (I am a very, very brusque person IRL, which is why I have such trouble with essays), so I'll explain the problems in terms of songs (cue the linkspam!):
This is what James seems to think Ana and Grey's relationship is like (ignore the video, it's weird but irrelevant).
This is what James seems to think Ana is like.
This is what James seems to think Grey is like.
Yeah... no. Definitely no.
This is what I think their relationship is meant to look like.
This is what I think Ana is meant to be.
This is what I think Grey is meant to appear as.
That's more... plausible, I guess. But it's still wrong.
See, this is what their relationship looks like to me.
This is what Ana seems to be, IMO.
And this is the way Grey looks to me.
Fucked-up, yeah. But more accurate, methinks.
Anyway, Fifty Shades Darker will commence soon. I just need to think up a new title for the new spork.
Thanks for reading, everyone- hope you enjoyed it! Stay tuned for more!
