Fifty Shades of Fail: Chapter Five
Jul. 16th, 2012 10:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
astra_auroraI've somewhat lapsed in my schedule, so I'll try to post once every weekday this week. Also, be warned: there's sexual assault in this chapter and discussion of rape and assault. For the record, LJ has been screwing up so that everything not in the cut text gets thrown to the bottom, so sorry if it gets weird.
OK, so Ana wakes up in Grey's suite and... hold it!
She passed out drunk and wakes up in the bed of an unfamiliar man. If warning sirens aren't going off in your head right now...
OK. Let's take it one step at a time: she passed out in a bar, completely drunk. According to some online sources, it's actually the law in many US states that bartenders must call 911 if someone loses consciousness. Hell, Grey should have called 911- what if she had alcohol poisoning? What if she suffocated?
Two: She wakes up in Grey's suite. Why did he not take her home? He knows where she lives, and even if he didn't, her roommate was right fucking there. Besides, Ana's friends and acquaintances were there too- did all of them seriously think, Wow, my friend just passed out- oh well, let's leave her care to the strange guy with her, there's booze to drink!
Three: SHE'S IN THE BED OF AN UNFAMILIAR MAN. A man who has displayed possessive tendencies over her despite not knowing her. A man who took her to his suite despite all her friends being there. A man who could have done anything to her.
Naturally, Ana sees nothing wrong with this.
I think this is the point where everything gets worse.
Fuck this fucking book.
Oh, and she's not wearing any pants. She's got her underwear, but no pants.
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS- oh, wait. Hang on.
Here you go, I'll give you a blank space to scream and rant in too.
OK, anyway, now that we've all calmed down a little, Ana finds a glass of orange juice and some Advil, which I believe is like Panadol or Nurofen.
Ana gets all bitchy, as usual:
On it is a glass of orange juice and two tablets. Advil. Control freak that he is, he thinks of everything.
OK, firstly, giving someone some fluids and painkillers isn't a control freak thing to do, it's a nice thing to do. Also, it doesn't mean that he's a control freak, it means that he thinks of contingencies. What does make him a control freak is the fact that Ana's in his fucking bed.
Also, I personally wouldn't give someone who passed out drunk orange juice in the morning- not only does it taste terrible when lukewarm, it's also a bit tangy. Water's better for you.
Grey walks in and explains that he didn't want to risk the upholstery in his car by taking a drunk home, so he took her to his hotel. OK, bullshit. He's got millions, he can afford repairs.
Oh, and he apparently likes his women 'sentient and receptive'. He also claims that necrophilia isn't his thing. OK, there is a really fucking big difference between being passed out and being dead. That is why this page (warning: Link leads to TV Tropes, say goodbye to your day) has so many entries. Also, did anyone else notice that he didn't say 'sentient, receptive and consenting'?
Bastard.
Ana gets mad at him about him tracking her. He says that A, the technology is available on the Net, B, his company doesn't make any kind of surveillance devices, and C, if he hadn't picked her up, she probably would have slept with Jose.
Right: 1, So what? There are all kinds of things on the Net- doesn't mean that they're legal. Or moral. (Also, it's not as simple as he makes it sound, and it can't do what he says it can.) 2, he didn't go there intending to rescue her from Jose, so that's an invalid point; 3, we don't know what would have happened; and 4, he's a prick.
Oh, it gets better. He slept in his bed. With her. When she wasn't wearing pants. Dude. You're in a suite. Sleep in another room. Sleep on the couch. Put her on the couch, she's unconscious, she won't care. THAT IS FUCKING CREEPY.
Ana and Grey do some bantering for a little while, and then she finally realises that she's into him. He takes a shower and walks out only clad in a towel. Fucking inconsiderate bastard. Seriously, what happened to manners?
Ana takes a shower and discovers the joys of masturbation, which basically means that she's been asexual up to this point. Before I get bitchy, does anyone else think that the book's trying to say that she wouldn't have ever been sexual if Grey hadn't turned up, or some variant thereof?
OK, now on to the bitchy real life things-you-probably-don't-want-to-know bit: I, like Ana (at this point) am a virgin. I, like Ana (before this point) spent a long part of my life as an asexual person. This involved a lot of things I won't go into, but suffice to say that I had no interest in anything remotely resembling sex until I was about 17. I knew the details, but I just didn't care. Ana, in contrast, knows jack shit about sex, and that annoys me, because I feel like the book's trying to say that all virgins are like this. No. They're not. There are asexual virgins who know about sex but feel nothing for it, and sexual virgins who know nothing but want to try. However, I feel that the book is giving off some very nasty vibes with this bit, because Ana knows nothing about sex and therefore doesn't know what to do or how to react when in the presence of a sexually experienced man who wants her and isn't shy about needling and flirting with her. This, methinks, won't end well.
Grey's flunkey bought her some clothes, which naturally fit perfectly. And it includes sexy underwear. Christ.
Anyway, she finds Grey, and he reassures her that Kate knows where she is, 'cause he texted Elliot. Ana has a brief moment of panic about how Kate's one-night-stand will affect her, bitching about how Kate always gets depressed after one-night-stands and she'll think that Ana had one too.
How bad a friend is Ana? No 'Oh God, I hope Kate's not getting depressed', no 'Oh God, I hope Elliot hasn't chained her up in his basement as his personal love slave' or anything. No 'I should have tried to stop her from going home drunk with a random guy', just 'She'll think I'm a slut! Oh noes!' Christ.
Grey says that he isn't into romance, and that's why he's not pursuing her. And here I was thinking that he gave her a $14000 gift for lulz.
Anyway, there's some flirting, and then he says that he won't do anything to her without written consent. Ana doesn't know what he means, and he says that he'll take her to dinner and show her then, because if he shows her now, she'll never want to see him again.
Right. If you show her, she'll never want to see you again. So you'll show her on a date clearly designed to end in sex. Fuck you. This is not safe, sane and consensual. This is not risk-aware consensual kink. This is fucking bullshit. When introducing a potential partner to kinky sex, you give them time to think about it, you don't throw them straight into it. And Christ, just tell her! Tell her what you want. Don't dance around it with your manipulative bullshit.
Ana agrees, because she's curious and lusty and all. Oh, and they're going to Seattle, so if it goes wrong, she'll be stuck there. Grey's a dick.
And then... OK, anyone triggered by sexual assault, this is your cue. Shit gets bad.
In the elevator, Grey says 'Oh, fuck the paperwork' and kisses her, pinning her against the wall, pulling her hair back and holding her hands.
Right, let's get a few things straight:
CONSENT DOES NOT EXIST TO PISS YOU OFF. CONSENT IS THERE TO ESTABLISH THAT EVERYONE IS FINE WITH THE ACTS OCCURRING. WHEN YOU DISREGARD CONSENT FOR YOUR OWN PLEASURE, YOU ARE RAPING AND ASSAULTING THAT PERSON. YOU FUCKER.
Not to mention... OK, so a contract would be time-consuming and waiting would be boring. Don't get one. They're not compulsory. Here's the thing, though: you still have to get consent. Ask her. Get her fucking consent.
Ana being Ana, she isn't scared, or angry, or anything. She's just happy. Fuck her, and fuck him, and fuck EL James, and fuck Stephenie Meyer and fuck everyone who thinks this book is romantic.
And that ends Chapter 5. Things are only going to get worse.
OK, so Ana wakes up in Grey's suite and... hold it!
She passed out drunk and wakes up in the bed of an unfamiliar man. If warning sirens aren't going off in your head right now...
OK. Let's take it one step at a time: she passed out in a bar, completely drunk. According to some online sources, it's actually the law in many US states that bartenders must call 911 if someone loses consciousness. Hell, Grey should have called 911- what if she had alcohol poisoning? What if she suffocated?
Two: She wakes up in Grey's suite. Why did he not take her home? He knows where she lives, and even if he didn't, her roommate was right fucking there. Besides, Ana's friends and acquaintances were there too- did all of them seriously think, Wow, my friend just passed out- oh well, let's leave her care to the strange guy with her, there's booze to drink!
Three: SHE'S IN THE BED OF AN UNFAMILIAR MAN. A man who has displayed possessive tendencies over her despite not knowing her. A man who took her to his suite despite all her friends being there. A man who could have done anything to her.
Naturally, Ana sees nothing wrong with this.
I think this is the point where everything gets worse.
Fuck this fucking book.
Oh, and she's not wearing any pants. She's got her underwear, but no pants.
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS- oh, wait. Hang on.
Here you go, I'll give you a blank space to scream and rant in too.
OK, anyway, now that we've all calmed down a little, Ana finds a glass of orange juice and some Advil, which I believe is like Panadol or Nurofen.
Ana gets all bitchy, as usual:
On it is a glass of orange juice and two tablets. Advil. Control freak that he is, he thinks of everything.
OK, firstly, giving someone some fluids and painkillers isn't a control freak thing to do, it's a nice thing to do. Also, it doesn't mean that he's a control freak, it means that he thinks of contingencies. What does make him a control freak is the fact that Ana's in his fucking bed.
Also, I personally wouldn't give someone who passed out drunk orange juice in the morning- not only does it taste terrible when lukewarm, it's also a bit tangy. Water's better for you.
Grey walks in and explains that he didn't want to risk the upholstery in his car by taking a drunk home, so he took her to his hotel. OK, bullshit. He's got millions, he can afford repairs.
Oh, and he apparently likes his women 'sentient and receptive'. He also claims that necrophilia isn't his thing. OK, there is a really fucking big difference between being passed out and being dead. That is why this page (warning: Link leads to TV Tropes, say goodbye to your day) has so many entries. Also, did anyone else notice that he didn't say 'sentient, receptive and consenting'?
Bastard.
Ana gets mad at him about him tracking her. He says that A, the technology is available on the Net, B, his company doesn't make any kind of surveillance devices, and C, if he hadn't picked her up, she probably would have slept with Jose.
Right: 1, So what? There are all kinds of things on the Net- doesn't mean that they're legal. Or moral. (Also, it's not as simple as he makes it sound, and it can't do what he says it can.) 2, he didn't go there intending to rescue her from Jose, so that's an invalid point; 3, we don't know what would have happened; and 4, he's a prick.
Oh, it gets better. He slept in his bed. With her. When she wasn't wearing pants. Dude. You're in a suite. Sleep in another room. Sleep on the couch. Put her on the couch, she's unconscious, she won't care. THAT IS FUCKING CREEPY.
Ana and Grey do some bantering for a little while, and then she finally realises that she's into him. He takes a shower and walks out only clad in a towel. Fucking inconsiderate bastard. Seriously, what happened to manners?
Ana takes a shower and discovers the joys of masturbation, which basically means that she's been asexual up to this point. Before I get bitchy, does anyone else think that the book's trying to say that she wouldn't have ever been sexual if Grey hadn't turned up, or some variant thereof?
OK, now on to the bitchy real life things-you-probably-don't-want-to-know bit: I, like Ana (at this point) am a virgin. I, like Ana (before this point) spent a long part of my life as an asexual person. This involved a lot of things I won't go into, but suffice to say that I had no interest in anything remotely resembling sex until I was about 17. I knew the details, but I just didn't care. Ana, in contrast, knows jack shit about sex, and that annoys me, because I feel like the book's trying to say that all virgins are like this. No. They're not. There are asexual virgins who know about sex but feel nothing for it, and sexual virgins who know nothing but want to try. However, I feel that the book is giving off some very nasty vibes with this bit, because Ana knows nothing about sex and therefore doesn't know what to do or how to react when in the presence of a sexually experienced man who wants her and isn't shy about needling and flirting with her. This, methinks, won't end well.
Grey's flunkey bought her some clothes, which naturally fit perfectly. And it includes sexy underwear. Christ.
Anyway, she finds Grey, and he reassures her that Kate knows where she is, 'cause he texted Elliot. Ana has a brief moment of panic about how Kate's one-night-stand will affect her, bitching about how Kate always gets depressed after one-night-stands and she'll think that Ana had one too.
How bad a friend is Ana? No 'Oh God, I hope Kate's not getting depressed', no 'Oh God, I hope Elliot hasn't chained her up in his basement as his personal love slave' or anything. No 'I should have tried to stop her from going home drunk with a random guy', just 'She'll think I'm a slut! Oh noes!' Christ.
Grey says that he isn't into romance, and that's why he's not pursuing her. And here I was thinking that he gave her a $14000 gift for lulz.
Anyway, there's some flirting, and then he says that he won't do anything to her without written consent. Ana doesn't know what he means, and he says that he'll take her to dinner and show her then, because if he shows her now, she'll never want to see him again.
Right. If you show her, she'll never want to see you again. So you'll show her on a date clearly designed to end in sex. Fuck you. This is not safe, sane and consensual. This is not risk-aware consensual kink. This is fucking bullshit. When introducing a potential partner to kinky sex, you give them time to think about it, you don't throw them straight into it. And Christ, just tell her! Tell her what you want. Don't dance around it with your manipulative bullshit.
Ana agrees, because she's curious and lusty and all. Oh, and they're going to Seattle, so if it goes wrong, she'll be stuck there. Grey's a dick.
And then... OK, anyone triggered by sexual assault, this is your cue. Shit gets bad.
In the elevator, Grey says 'Oh, fuck the paperwork' and kisses her, pinning her against the wall, pulling her hair back and holding her hands.
Right, let's get a few things straight:
CONSENT DOES NOT EXIST TO PISS YOU OFF. CONSENT IS THERE TO ESTABLISH THAT EVERYONE IS FINE WITH THE ACTS OCCURRING. WHEN YOU DISREGARD CONSENT FOR YOUR OWN PLEASURE, YOU ARE RAPING AND ASSAULTING THAT PERSON. YOU FUCKER.
Not to mention... OK, so a contract would be time-consuming and waiting would be boring. Don't get one. They're not compulsory. Here's the thing, though: you still have to get consent. Ask her. Get her fucking consent.
Ana being Ana, she isn't scared, or angry, or anything. She's just happy. Fuck her, and fuck him, and fuck EL James, and fuck Stephenie Meyer and fuck everyone who thinks this book is romantic.
And that ends Chapter 5. Things are only going to get worse.
