OK, so now I'm doing the songs I did like. This will be much more fun for me. As before, this is not why Gaga rocks, this is why I liked the songs.
Onwards we go!
Oh, I like this. It's got an awesome electro beat, it's hammy without being narmy and it's catchy as hell.
Track Four: Judas
'Hang on,' I hear you cry. 'Astra, if you were so against all the Christian-themed songs, why do you like this one?' Well, that would be because despite the name, this isn't entirely a Christian-themed song. It's the traditional 'I'm in love with a good guy and a bad boy, what do I do?' using Jesus, Judas and the Biblical stories to set the scene- and even better, it's not exhorting the wonders of Jesus at me, and that is something I definitely like. It's hammy, but it's also very danceable and very catchy.
Track Seven: Scheiße
Catchy. Danceable. Pretty much everything I've said before. And while this song is about pride, it's a feminist song, and that I can definitely relate to.
Track Eight: Bloody Mary
It's slow, it's catchy, and Gaga appears to have mixed up a few Christian stories, as well as using a myth completely unrelated to Christianity as the title (Pontius Pilate ordered Jesus killed, yes, but IIRC, he only did so because the people ordered it and Jesus wasn't a king, he was just a spiritual leader). Aside from that, like 'Judas', it's not throwing Jesus into my face, and that I can definitely like.
Track Thirteen: Heavy Metal Lover
Sex, drugs and alcohol- the three basic components of a classic hit. It's slow, yes, but that just makes it better. It's nonsensical and fantastic.
Track Sixteen: You and I
Apart from Gaga throwing her Christianity in my face at the end ('There's only three men that I'mma serve in my whole life/It's my daddy and Nebraska and Jesus Christ'), there's really nothing to dislike about this song. Straight love songs are good stuff.
Track Seventeen: The Edge of Glory
Edge is a weird song because it's... it's good, but there's nothing that really makes it special to me. I can listen to it happily, but it rapidly fades in comparison with any of the other songs on this list. Ah well.
In conclusion: Born This Way is an OK album. Just OK. The seven songs I liked are good, but they're not enough to outweigh the ones I didn't like. This album was overhyped and underdone. All in all, I'll give it 4/10.