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So, what did I think of this book? Well... I'll be honest. It's shite. It's complete and utter shite. We'll break it down both musically (because God knows I love music) and verbally.

Cut for length. )

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Ladies and gentlemen, whether you like it or not...

*is shot for stealing Diamanda Hagan's catch phrase*

Ow... fuck!

OK, I know Chapter 25 was yesterday, but I really wanted to do this one soon, mostly because it's another Very Special Episode- it's the last chapter, and so we're bringing out the music references again!

Yay!

Oh, this will be so much fun...

Let's get started! Mission GET!

*is shot by Paw Dugan for nicking his catch phrase*

Fuck!

OK, OK, I'll stop, I'll stop...


The last chapter… awesome. )

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Hey, everyone. Unbelievably, this is the second-last chapter of Fifty Shades of Grey. Next one will be a Very Special Episode, and then it's on to Fifty Shades Darker- and because I have been blessed with a week off, you'll get a chapter every day next week. I've had a look at Fifty Shades Darker, and while it's got its fair share of horrifying moments, it actually has a plot, so I'm looking forward to sporking it.


*hums* )

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Hey, everyone. Sorry this is late, but I watched To Boldly Flee last night and I felt so burned out and numb that I just couldn't do anything other than writing some fanfic and feeling bad. Anyway, here's chapter twenty-four.


*sings* Anything goes... )



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I've realised that my posts have been getting shorter and shorter. This is not good, so I will do my best to be more descriptive. That said, let's get back into Fifty Shades of OMGWTFBBQLOL!

(Also, this was meant to be up yesterday, but I got delayed, so have it today. Sorry.)

Warning: there's discussions of child molestation and rape in this chapter.
----


…!?… )

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Hiya again! Welcome back to a new chapter!


Oooh, my ding ding dong... )


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Hi everyone! Welcome back to Fifty Shades of Fail! Today's something of a Very Special Episode in that today, I have a co-sporker here to help! Please give a very warm welcome to my best friend, Eyes, who will be helping me bitch and moan as we traverse our way through Chapter Twenty-One!

(Please note that this is highly edited because we talked a hell of a lot throughout this and transcribing it would take hours, so you're basically getting the Twitter equivalent.)


Oooh, you touch my tra-la-la... )


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Hey, everyone. Welcome back to Myriad Ways To Waste Your Time, aka How To Pack More Swearwords And Insults Into A Chapter Than Paul Keating, aka Why Modern Fiction Sucks Balls, aka Fifty Shades of Fail. Nice to know that you're all still reading. :)

Warning: this chapter contains rape and all kinds of bullshit. Careful now.


Bang! )


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Sorry- this chapter should have been out last night, but LJ fucked up, so you're getting it this morning. :) For once, I can't see anything to warn for in this chapter, but if I've missed anything, please, please tell me so I don't trigger anyone.


I hate summer, winter, fall and spring. I hate red and yellow and purple and blue and green. I hate everything. )
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Hiya, everyone! Welcome back to Fifty Shades of Fail! I'm doing this basically because right now, I have three choices: a new chapter, a drama essay or more episodes of What The Fuck Is Wrong With You (Nash is my favourite reviewer right now, BTW) and I'm going with this 'cause you're all due a new chapter about now. So, let's go!

Just a quick warning- there's sex in this chapter. In fact, this chapter is mostly sex. At least it's consensual this time. *shudders*


Cut for length and all. )

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Hiya! Welcome back to Fifty Shades of OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS IS GOING TO HURT.

Sorry. Last chapter was a fucking bitch.

Anyway, let's go!


Cut for length. )

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Hello again! Sorry about the wait- my weeks are being eaten alive. Hope you all enjoyed the Very Special Episode!

Warning: this chapter has rape in it. It's fucking disgusting and you all need to be careful, mmmkay?

OK, here we go!


Cut because this shit gets triggering. )

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Hey, everyone! Today is our Very Special Episode! 

Why is it a Very Special Episode? Well, you can all calm down- it's not because of something in the book. It's because today is Music Day, where I make as many references to songs as I can! Why? For the lulz, of course! 

For the record, there's more sex and bullshit in this chapter, and some of my links are very NSFW. Just FYI.


Bing! )
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Hiya! Now that LJ has (seemingly) fixed itself (YAY!), welcome to back to Fifty Shades of Fail! There's not much sexual stuff in this chapter, but there is a little, so be warned.

OK, let's go!


*bounces some more* )

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Uni got... hectic, so sorry about how late this post is. Anyway, let's get going!

Note: LJ has been screwing up, so expect weird shit happening.


*bounces* )
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Hi, everyone! It's time for Chapter Twelve! *bounces* Warning: there's sex and some seriously dub-con stuff in here. Be warned.


Seriously, this shit gets bad. Careful now. )
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O hai desu~!!!!! I've been watching Vixen's Twilight reviews (I wholeheartedly recommend them) and some of her crazy lovechild-of-the-Energizer-Bunny-and-Pinkie-Pie-on-crackness appears to have rubbed off on me. (For some reason I felt better today than I have for ages, which makes no sense whatsoever.)

Anyway, I'm in a good mood and I'm ready to have fun (yes, I actually do find these posts to be fun) so let's go!


Beep. Beep. Beep. )




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I am so fucking sick right now. I have, however, been reenergised by my best friend reading all my previous chapters and loving them, so on that note, it's time for Chapter Ten. Warning- there is discussions of child rape in this chapter.


This chapter's baaaaad. Careful now. )
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I got me a glass of orange juice and my Companion Cube and I'm ready to slap a bitch. (Also, for your enjoyment, have a photo of Chris Corner in his 'out of the closet' cowboy boots, 'cause I realised that most of you would have no idea who he is. Check out IAMX, his music's amazing.)

Also, there's more sex in this chapter, so if anyone underage is reading... I warned you.

Right, let's go!


There's sexytiems and swearing and stuff. Be warned. )

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Everybody, it's time to get out your oversized rifles and shotguns and 'out of the closet' cowboy boots and hats! We're going arsehole-hunting! Yeeeeehaaaaaa!

(I'd just like to apologise to Chris Corner for appropriating his term "'out of the closet' cowboy boots". It was too hard to pass up.)

This chapter contains sex, so be cautious, mmmkay? 


Beep. )

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